Sometimes I can find the thread of truth in all these. After all, aren’t all these tango teachers just regurgitating either, what they were taught or what works for them?

When I was first learning tango I seem to vaguely remember terms like Salon Tango or Tango Salon being tossed around. I wasn’t clear as to what it meant and I remember going to Buenos Aires on my first tango trip and seeing dancers dancing chest to chest at the milongas. No one mentioned to me a label, it was clear we were all dancing tango in a salon de baile (a ballroom or could also be called pista de baile). Yet I was learning to dance a more open embrace in the US. I was vaguely confused but made a decision that I was going to dance, what I wanted to call, social tango, something that I saw in the milongas in Buenos Aires, after all it’s a social dance, right?  Ironically, a friend in my home community articulated his frustrations that what he was learning in classes wasn’t very useful at milongas. And at the time I thought, “Me Too!”

Subsequently over time I think I ignored the labels that people were giving to the Argentine Tango. I found teachers that were recommended to me and I took a lot of group classes and I went out to milongas to dance socially in a close embrace that I had experienced first hand in Buenos Aires. Everyone seemed to be doing it, dancing close embrace, and those that weren’t; I didn’t dance with all that often.

In retrospect I can see that there was a lot of confusion in people’s bodies as to how to lead and how to follow. What I too would hear from one teacher would be totally contradictory to another. What a mess and that was only 14 years ago. One teacher would explain leading through the right arm, another would explain leading as being in the chest, the shoulders, the solar plexus, the center, and others would divide the leaders from the followers and give each of us our pattern and then we would fight it out together! Somehow I swam through the sea of confusion as many of you, or shall I say us, still do now.

You may know that I began teaching Argentine Tango out of curiosity and somewhat by default. I began by teaching what I knew to be my experience in Buenos Aires: from those teachers that shared what I most closely understood to be that which I danced in the milongas in Buenos Aires. Teaching has taken me on a very long adventure which fortunately or unfortunately has included changing what I understood and therefore, what I have taught.

I set out to teach others how to social dance in Buenos Aires as I had done. I did not have a label for it: to me it was Argentine Tango. Soon after my return to Arizona, where I began teaching only Argentine Tango, did the questions begin to arise. “Are you the milonguero teacher from Phoenix?” I recall being asked by a prominent festival organizer. I didn’t answer or maybe I did by the strange look on my face and the repetition of the words, “milonguero teacher?”

I made an attempt to see if I needed the label. I looked up Argentine Tango online only to discover that there were several more labels that I had never heard of, I looked around to see who was labeling themselves what…  (The 90’s saw the label Milonguero and then soon followed was Nuevo, and then came Villa Urquiza.) What kind of a teacher was I if I didn’t have a label? My students were dancing with little complaints so I continued without a label.

My journey has now taken me into a new realm – into an actual label. In competing in Argentine Tango we are now labeled as Tango Salon and thus seemingly poo-pooed by those hanging onto another label. Which is funny to me – because I still can dance at the milongas. For me nothing has changed, except that I am training to look and dance a certain way with my partner. Somewhere in the tango label lineage Tango Salon went categorized as being closer to Stage Tango and with learning choreographed steps. Interestingly enough Melina Sedo in her blog, Melina’s Two Cents, has had a similar struggle with labels and enlightened me that Tango De Salon in France was interpreted as ballroom tango.

Recently a friend of mine who teaches back east said to me, “Aren’t you learning essentially choreographed steps for the competition?” I thought this was an interesting claim as we are constantly working on certain turning patterns that are expected in this label, Tango Salon, and in the competition in the category of the same name.

So where does this bring us – to our frustrations as students. And an entire blog without too many confusing labels and to my point.

A female student came to me recently. She has been studying fast and furiously with many teachers, going out to milongas diligently, has a practice partner, and was beyond confused and frustrated. How does a follower follow all these different leaders? All these different corrections?

From the follower’s perspective I don’t think any of it is wrong but it is about learning and understanding that there are certain possibilities based basically on embrace. Which means that if I am dancing super close, chest to chest and socially, there are a certain set of expectations (this has been labeled milonguero). Those expectations are not to leave the chest, not to pivot the hips, and I think often misinterpreted that the follower is “hanging” on the leader, although I have never heard those words come out of a teacher’s mouth but I observe it all too often on the dance floor and then hear about it from the leaders and their pained shoulders.

I could also be dancing a little less close and socially which offers me other options. The music will dictate and the space and geography might all give me clues, yes, for me as a follower too.

The clues are exhibited on the dance floor for me to see, as a follower, and as a leader. And in this case “like attracts like”. Do you see an embrace that you like? Basically that embrace will dictate that dance. And when you are in that embrace remember one of Graciela Gonzalez’ adages: ”Follow what you feel not what you think”.

(part 2 of labels next week and for more historical notes on Tango Styles visit Stephen Brown’s site at:
http://www.tejastango.com/inside_2011archive.html#0004 and scroll down to The Continuing Conflict over Tango Styles.)

Come dance with us at Marsha Bruner’s home
:
1725 E. Orchid Lane, Phoenix 85020 (off Hwy. #51 and Northern)

Live music featuring Tho X. and DJ Acacia Crouch

Also:
Performance by Rommel and Daniela
Silent Auction
BYOB

Hors d’oeuvres will be provided

All Donations are tax deductible*

My partner, Rommel and I will be competing in the Campeonato Mundial de Tango in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a 2 week competition in August. All profits go directly to sponsor us in this endeavor. This is an investment into bringing high quality instruction and dancing to Arizona as we train and prepare for this exciting event.

*Donations can be made payable to USA DANCE #4040. If you are unable to attend but are interested in supporting us please send checks to 
USA DANCE #4040 c/o Nancy Williams PO Box 7 Flagstaff, AZ 86002 with Daniela & Rommel as the memo.

Call Rommel to RSVP: 928-301-5215

Mind Games: Sometimes a White Coat Isn’t Just a White Coat

This article was interesting and has some relevance I’m sure as to why we often dress a certain way for tango. The article spoke about what you wear changing you psychological state. I know this makes sense to me. I loved dressing up as a child and dressing in someone else’s clothing was preferable! And what about now?

I like to look nice, to look elegant, but getting there is challenging sometimes! Some of you know that I do not actually enjoy going shopping. I am probably one of the few women I know who would rather hire someone to do this job for me! Or shop online. Just make me look good but don’t make me go through the hassle of taking off and putting on clothes in a dressing room in a bunch of different stores, trying to find clothing that fits, looks good, feels good. HELP! Maybe this is a skill that we have to acquire? “The shopping skill.”

In preparing for the tango championship a lot of resources were spent on finding just the right outfits for both myself and Rommel and making sure we “matched”. When you look good and feel that you look good, it can have a transforming affect on the psyche. We essentially had to dress like winners and winners for this competition have to look a certain way. We learned this from last year’s trial run when some of the feedback we received was specifically on our dress.

I remember hearing my mother speak about a time in Buenos Aires on the Calle Florida (which is a major shopping area and tourist center now) when women and men would dress up to promenade on Calle Florida. My grandmother would never leave her house without dressing up and doing her hair. And there was a time when going to a milonga was a night out on the town where you dressed up, wore your best clothing, greased back your hair, and women never left the house without their stockings. (Incidentally nylon stockings were made in the US in 1940.)

I know this tradition hints at being alive at most milongas across the world. Dressing up in our best makes us feel sexy, appealing, attractive, etc. And we hope that of course, we will attract our perfect-in-the-moment tango mates.

In the article, the subjects of the experiments, in a nutshell, were asked to wear a Dr.’s lab coat and then were tested on sustained attention. And of course those who wore the coats, felt the coats, and had attached the meaning of it as being a “Dr.’s lab coat” showed greatest improvement in attention. The article concludes that clothing can change your psychological processes.

Maybe that’s where ladies tango shoe fetishes come in. If I wear those cute shoes, I will look like a tango dancer and therefore feel like a tango dancer and dance better. Well, readers, you know my stance on that, not if they don’t fit and aren’t comfortable!

A young student came to me after I encouraged the class to “dress to impress” for an upcoming milonga, stressing his desire for comfort. “Why can’t I wear jeans? I don’t own anything else, and I feel good in my jeans”. I understand this as I am very comfortable in my jeans or slacks and t-shirt too. But the truth is, going to a milonga is an event. Sharing tango with a community is an occasion, a happening. The dressing up is part of the magic. Each one of us plays a part at the milonga. Each one of us adds to its enchantment, to its excitement. So if you feel good and feel better in what you are wearing, you are preparing yourself psychologically for dancing. Ladies, have you experienced that dressed man who enters the milonga and takes your breath away? The suit makes him look sharp and angular, he is clean shaven and smells good, a part of the female brain says, I want to be with him! And I’m sure there’s an equivalent for the man, as they are very visual beings!

Next time you get dressed for a milonga consider the outfit that makes you feel like dancing!

I am happy to announce that Rommel Oramas and I took second place at the USA Argentine Tango Salon Competition in San Francisco this last weekend.

Below are videos from our final day of competition. Each round has 3 songs and thus 3 video links below. Each video shows the finalists that were in Round 1 of the competition. We were #14.

http://youtu.be/K5kQPd8PJws

http://youtu.be/fCz4FOWDP7k

http://youtu.be/uWTVb1NAZYw

We were finalists last year and placed 5th. Ramada and Yumiko were 2nd then and were clearly in favor to win this year and they did. Rommel and I have enjoyed are experiences at the competition. We have met such nice people both years and we do feel a shared camaraderie and sense of community regardless of the competition. I believe that it is this way because of the size of the competition, which is still quite small. I know that the organizers hope that it will grow over the coming years. Their goal is to have a representative from every state compete.

Rommel and I put all of our focus towards the competition for several months. This included training with several teachers, practicing together, listening to and dancing to a wide range of musical choices, and for me, my gyrotonics classes.

Now the question hangs in the air as to whether Rommel and I will go to Buenos Aires for the World Championships in August. I will keep you posted. What do you think?

Thank you all who read for your continued support.

My facebook has received over 100 likes and comments and the support is very much appreciated.

I just mentioned the website Aligned and Well in my last blog and the author is coming to town. That’s right! Katy Bowman will be conducting a workshop at Kinesphere Studio in Phoenix on April 17th 5pm – 8pm.

This special, one-time workshop is open to everyone, novice or professional, young or mature.
Sign up now at info@kinesphere-studio.com (space is limited) or call 602-532-3111 for more information.

I am sure this will be a fantastic workshop. I am looking forward to more information to help our bodies and to keep us dancing!

How ironic to look back on my relationship with shoes.  Maybe part of it was learned from my mother who I remember coveted shoes. My childhood memories consist of an early impression of a lovely pair of mary janes and then I used to look forward to summers when I could get a new color of Dr. Scholl’s sandals.  Somewhere in the midst of a growth spurt I was observed to have fallen arches, which spawned a whole adventure in office visits to sports doctors and orthopedists.  Which eventually resulted in a very ugly orthotic which could only fit in what looked like very uncool nurse’s shoes, especially when you’re a teenager.  Ugh! The challenge became looking for a cool shoe that I could sneak my orthotics into.

Somewhere during my shoe adventures I took my first modern dance class – no shoes!  And I loved it.  I’m sure the dancing barefoot helped my feet and my arches.

So when tango came along and I had to wear shoes – let alone 3 – 4 inch heels, I thought – “no way”.

14 years of tango and several pairs of Flabella’s later I have found myself completely interested in Tango Shoes.  Besides the questions that most people ask, “What makes a tango shoe a tango shoe?”  I have been observing those tango shoes on the milonga dance floors and I ask more importantly, “Why did you pick that shoe?” and thus “Why do women wear shoes that don’t fit them?”

I observe toes hanging off the edge of the shoe, bunions popping out of the sides of shoes, heels dying to come out for air, bandaids crawling off the toes, toes that are too short and excess shoe exposed at the front of the shoe.  Not to mention the off-the-dance-floor- conversations of “oh my feet hurt”, “anyone have a bandaid?”, “do you think I can get my heels shortened?”, “have you heard of oliva’s, petals, cushy insoles, foam padding?” REALLY ladies?

And then come the injuries – plantar faschiatis, bone spurs, shortening of the tendons in the heel, shin splints, back pain, ….. just to name a few.

So what does it take to get ladies to stop buying with their eyes and start to shop intelligently.  Don’t you want a shoe that fits, actually fits your foot? And feels as comfortable as a high heel can??

One of my interests in my dance training has been anatomy and kinesiology.  In a nutshell, there are 26 bones in the foot.  And the miraculous design of the foot allows it to flex, point, evert and invert.  And the foot does not work in isolation, there are muscles in the calf and ankle, into your knees that assist in making all those movements.  The body works as a unit.  That back pain?  That knee pain?

So do we just blame it on the shoes? Or on our bad posture or a somewhat sedentary lifestyle?  Do we all have to be buff and in shape to wear sexy shoes?? I do think that proper training, alignment and body awareness will definitely help your body and your dancing.  But if you are wearing shoes that actually fit your foot that will help you as well.

I had a conversation recently with traveling tango teacher who mentioned that when she first started to dance there were only 2 places to buy shoes, only a few materials and styles available. The fact was that you would judge a woman’s dancing by looking at her feet, at her technique.  And now – there is so much variety and so much choice.  I have taken women to Buenos Aires repeatedly and watched them bring back suitcases filled with shoes.  Some return to the US and never dance again. What would it be like if those women spent that money on lessons in order to actually dance well in a nice pair of shoes!

So if you’re not a dancer or a person accustomed to wearing high heels, let alone for dancing, you are probably asking the same question – WHY do it?

Ladies, is the only answer “the shoes are SO cute? Beautiful? Sexy? Different?”

Let’s break some of this down.  I am not a shoe doctor or a shoe maker but I do have a vested interest in ladies’ technique and in the idea that we can dance for many years to come.  I’ll discuss briefly the shoe, the body and foot health and make some suggestions on what to look for in a shoe.

1. The FOOT

As I mentioned, the foot has 26 bones in it.  It has the possibility for many actions – if you aim your toes towards the ceiling you have flexion; you can aim the toes away from your body and point them; you can roll the whole foot towards the lateral sides and the opposite, towards the arches.  These articulations are happening at what we call the ankle and a few other complicated combinations of foot muscles, tendons.

With all this potential for movement the feet carry us along, they bear our weight, and we just shove them into a lovely shoe that could be causing us some damage.  Maybe not immediately but I’m sure over the long term.

Our feet need care.  Consider some relievers, some stretches and regular attention.  Please feel free to submit your favorite foot care routine so others can benefit as well.

I am a big fan of hot and cold foot baths.  Even if it’s not a full blown bath I often stay in the shower a few extra minutes with my feet sitting under the faucet running only cold water.  I love Epsom salts in warm water too.  And definitely do not shy away from cold water especially after a long night of dancing your feet will thank you later when you wake up!

There a lot of cool devices on the market too for foot care.  But even just a tennis ball to place under your foot and roll it around feels good.  I have a fantastic wooden rolling pin-like device that has little ridges on it. It was a gift from my modern dance days and I use it every day.  I sit at my desk and roll my feet on it while I’m working.  Massage is good, theraband stretches are great and easy enough.  You can take a theraband or even a towel and wrap under the metatarsals (just under where your toes articulate on the bottom of your foot) and pull those toes towards your nose.

As with any stretching, I highly recommend breathing and taking it easy, don’t over do it, and be gentle with your body.  Don’t push yourself beyond your capabilities.  So this means listening to when it hurts and stop!

There are so many more feet exercises and I highly recommend getting into some routine to save them and keep them healthy.  After all they do keep you walking and dancing, they deserve a little love!

I highly recommend Katy Bowmen’s website Aligned and Well and her wisdom. (http://www.alignedandwell.com) She has a DVD called “Fix your Feet” and a new book on women’s feet!

2.  So what do I think about The SHOES

I think it is so wonderful that we have choices. But we have sacrificed nice foot work for a cute shoe that we can barely walk in, let alone dance in.

So let me share what I look for in a shoe.  When I try on a shoe I stand up in them to see what happens.  There are some shoe brands that when I stand up my foot slides forward and thus my toes go to the edge if not hang off the front of it.  But if I stand up and there is no sliding and my heel is intact in the back, there’s no excess hanging out the arch-side or the toe side I am almost happy. I also feel where the bulk of my weight lands in the shoe. I enjoy using my feet when I dance. I want to be able to feel an important articulation indicated in this picture by the purple area. As I dance I am using my whole foot. Not just landing on the metatarsals (balls of the feet) or just using my heels but using the whole foot and trying to keep my torso aligned over this purple area. So I want a shoe that supports this for me.

I also think that working your way to a higher heel is the way to go. If your foot has never needed to bend or flex then waking up the feet, taking care of them, and starting out in a lower heel is definitely sensible.

As I mentioned before, we are lucky to have choice. Try on many brands of shoes, they are not made the same. The relationship between between the arch and the heel are not created equally. This is why if you have a higher arch sometimes a higher heel actually feels better if the arch of the shoe makes contact with your arch. (Shameless plugs in a minute.)

I also just recently read a blog The Science of High Heels (http://www.totangoblog.ca/the-science-of-high-heels/) and I appreciate the research they have done however, my only question for them would be to clarify the position of the pelvis.

Many of you have read my blog on the pelvis and I do believe that the posture in Tango is becoming compromised and that more injuries are on the horizon due to bad posture and the heels. I go back to what Graciela Gonzalez has taught me, which is to have my torso, from crotch to head over my foot, just beyond the arch towards the toes and to use my whole foot when dancing. There is relief here. I dance my body and I definitely want to continue dancing for many years to come.

3. Shameless Plugs

I have not tried on every shoe that is out there but have been lucky to have tried on and tried out many. I have been a pretty loyal Flabella shoe wearer for my entire tango career. Don’t roll your eyes! I’m not talking about anything else except the shoe that fits my foot and that I can wear dancing all night right away. My first official tango shoes (after the hand me downs my teacher gave me) were from Flabella and the leather was soft, the heel was low and I loved them.

In 2010 I bought my first Soy Porteñas and was worried about the height of the heel. I ended up wearing them for several hours for an entire weekend for my first Tango Competition. I couldn’t believe how great they were. They are my new favorite shoe brand. They have recently come out with a lower heel height and I have to say that the lower heel, for me, does not help to place my body where I need to be on my foot. Go figure!

In summary – pay attention to your feet, soak them, rub them, roll them, have someone do all that for you, but take some care of them. My reflexologist said to me that the feet are like the bottom of the ocean, they collect sediment too. And secondly, shop around for shoes. Try not to fall in love at first sight but at first try on instead.

And finally, I am really happy that so many people are taking an interest in learning more about their feet and their bodies. There are several articles and blogs available online about feet and high heels. Ask more questions and try on many pairs!

Happy Dancing!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

After an action packed tango week comes the tango hangover.

The ASU Tango Experience was a step up from last year’s festival. Although I was thoroughly immersed in assisting classes and being on time it was so wonderful to watch as students took their dancing challenges head on.

I realize for this entry that I have so much to write about: the festival experience, my time with Graciela Gonzalez, the classes, the milongas, etc.  And even though I am Faculty Adviser to the tango club and only really supposed to be advising, I was asked to jump in and help in several aspects of the planning and execution of the event.

I also think it’s important for people to understand that bringing instructors to teach is an expensive endeavor. The teachers all have fees for their time investment as well as their travel and lodging expenses. ASU Tango Club applies for support to fund venues and a few other miscellaneous items but it’s the support from attendees that actually make it possible. And because it’s a student run organization they are learning valuable life skills: communication, delegation, organization, handling budgets, etc.

Having Graciela Gonzalez stay with me for a week and working as her translator in classes gave me a renewed appreciation for our dance. The intricacies, the nuances, the explanations for styles, the embrace, the walk, where vocabulary comes from, why do we dance the way we do? It is pretty amusing to speculate that at some point in time milongueros just did what they did, they danced!

Until my next encounter with her, I am left with exercises and reminders – not just dance reminders but life reminders. The notion of using the whole foot in the dance is one that I am so happy to have heard her say as I have been leaning in this direction with my teaching and so to hear her say it was a relief! Although she has let go of her famous “fountain” image for followers I really appreciated the idea of a fixed point for both the follower and leader – an intention that helps to suspend us 50% up and 50% grounded. She had mentioned that an ideal room would be one that would allow us to hang suspended from the ceiling, with our legs dangling towards the floor. A lot of what I heard from her this weekend addresses an issue that I think is a current trend, posture and alignment. I think this will continue to be a hot topic since many of us spend so much of our time sitting down in chairs that don’t serve us posturally.

She mentioned that she had an obsession with hands this weekend. She kept reminding me to touch her when we were demonstrating, that somehow my touch was too light, that I wasn’t really touching, holding her. You can hold your own body up and hold your own arms up and still touch and connect through the hands with your partner. She reminded us that our hands help us to to balance as well.

Graciela, Jaimes & Christa

Graciela also reminded me that I have to be on my own, working on my dance, in my body. We can’t blame someone else for our bad dancing or our disconnection from the dance or our partner. A good one right? And all I could think about was, where did I go? Have I gotten lost in the mentality of “I have to do more to get better” when all I really need to do is be me and enjoy dancing? This is a tricky one for me, as I was a trained dancer and an only child – I have always felt comfortable on my own. I took class and trained my body – and I was responsible for it and I knew that! So how did Tango become different in my mind? I guess it’s just a simple reminder that I am me and you are who you are and if we dance honestly without wanting to change the other it will be great!

One of the last questions I asked Graciela was “is it supposed to just feel easy?” and she opened her eyes widely and cracked a smile, nodding her head, and said, “yes”.

Now you know why there’s a tango hangover. Graciela changed my dancing when I first met her and she continues to do so. I am grateful for her insights into the dance, its people, and feel that her images are clear and easy to assimilate. Anyone who takes class with her is always impressed.

Thanks to all who shared the festival with us. Keep dancing…

Tuesday – Graciela Gonzalez will be teaching at Practicando.

Thursday – Graciela Gonzalez will be teaching the tango class prior to Mijana Milonga.

Friday – ASU TANGO EXPERIENCE: A NEW FESTIVAL EXPERIENCE begins
ASU TANGO 101: AN IMMERSION FOR THE BEGINNER with Momo Smitt from Portland, OR.
Classes begin promptly at 6:15pm on the Main Campus of ASU in Tempe in the Physical Education Building East.

Milongas

Friday – 9:00pm-2:00am at Tempe Woman’s Club
Saturday – 8:00pm-12:00am at ASU Art Museum 51 East 10th Street  Tempe, AZ 85281
12:00am-6:00am at ASU Gammage Promenade
Sunday – 12:00pm-3:30pm ALTERNATIVE MILONGA at Memorial Union (Student Union)
8:00pm-12:00am at Memorial Union (Student Union)

There is a lovely Pasta Dinner on Sunday night catered by the Memorial Union which includes your choice of pasta and sauce, sides, salad, cake, and beverage. This will keep you close to the dancing and must be purchased in advance.

Parking

I know that this is often a complaint coming to campus. And we do understand the frustration that is sometimes involved. ASU Tango Club Board and myself are doing what we can to communicate clearly about this.

The link to the festival map is to be updated soon but in short:
Parking for campus and for classes is covered on the link to the map. Remember to read the signs or to avoid meters.
Friday’s milonga there will be additional parking at the Church on Mill at 1300 S. Mill Ave.
Saturday and Sunday there will be a lot of activity on campus and at Gammage. We will have further recommendations in the upcoming days so check the ASU FESTIVAL WEBSITE.http://tangofest.events.asu.edu/node/18

Enjoy the weekends events and remember, ASU Tango Club can produce this event only with your support.

Oh, and one other thing, remember you milonga etiquette and try out your cabaceo!

I love the idea of a fairy tale as I know many of my dreams growing up were invaded with prince charming  and wondered if I would ever live one! But I also reflected on the many aspects of tango as being like a fairy tale. Our shoe fetishes always remind me of Cinderella and her Prince Charming. Some tango couples I think help promote this idea of falling in love and dancing off into the sunset, happily. But it seemed that this particular student saw the fairy tale similarly but with another layer to it: the rules of a video game!

I am not a gamer so I have had very little experience with this aspect of our culture but this idea that in order for the fairy tale to come alive a set of rules need to be applied was appealing to me. I don’t plan to set out on a true analysis of tango and video games in this blog, I’ll leave that to one of my ASU student’s final project, but I want to comment on the idea of the structure of the dance that is what helps to make it magical.

Certain things need to happen or need to be in place for the fairy tale to come life.
For the follower: dressing up, wearing beautiful shoes, smelling good, hair, nails, makeup – or whatever it is that makes a follower feel feminine.
For the leader, and not being one, I can only imagine it is very similar (minus the makeup) but also includes whatever makes the leader feel confident and “masculine”, if you will.
The milonga is set up as an environment to envelop these beautifully dressed people. But without the structure of the music and the etiquette it could just be a bunch of beautiful people hanging out, maybe like in a bar in NYC. So we add the music; organized in tandas, with cortinas, playing romantic, playful music of the Golden Age of Argentine Tango, we add the infamous cabaceo, and get those beautifully clad dancers moving in a line of dance, doing movement that we associate with Argentine tango and we start to have a milonga.

I do know that in a video game you have to play by the rules otherwise, well, you die, or you don’t amass points to get to your next level.

The rules and the structure in Tango help to keep the culture alive and I think it’s the Tango culture that is so appealing to people. We are still attracted to beauty, to connection, to the possibility of falling in love forever or for 3 minutes. We are attracted to being held and to hold someone close. And yet some people who see the dance and experience it are drawn to change it or perhaps to make it “more fun” or to make it work for them in some way. I hear students often complain that it’s “too slow”.

This is often what happens to dances over time. A dance form leaves its place of origin, is acquired by a new place, a new culture and often is highly influenced by that new culture that chooses to dance it. And this is also what happens within communities: you have divisions based on “traditionalists” and those who choose to do something else or to change “the rules”.

I like to believe that when this happens it is a sign of growth within a community. More people are being exposed and more people want to try it regardless of their understanding of a dance’s “origins”. Education becomes important. I was recently amazed or maybe it was more like shocked that in 1 of my university classes on dance and culture a student claimed that belly dancing originated in Colombia. (Thanks to media and videos today, Shakira has helped out dance and culture. Sarcasm intended.) I digress – Back to tango…..

Argentine Tango as a social dance is just that and it does come with a set of rules that help to keep the fairy tale of tango magic alive. Maybe it’s time for renaming or maybe it’s long overdue that if you are not going to have the rules than change the name of the event. We have heard for many years now, probably since I started tango, the terms alternative tossed about or mixtures of milonga and practica: practilonga. But I think the minute we use the word milonga we are expecting a certain setting, a certain milieu, a particular ambience with certain codes. So if you get rid of the rules, the etiquette, and you dance tango what is it called?

Sounds like a riddle….

And lastly, I know that people in a community start to feel like they have to choose where they go or what event they are seen at as that might influence how they are perceived or labeled. I know for me, as a tango teaching artist, that I often too feel torn because I know that I want people to dance and yet, I am truly invested in the traditions and the magic that draws people to the Argentine Tango.

How many times have you fallen in love on the dance floor? How many dancers do you know who have met through tango or even married because of tango?

One of my first tango teachers said, “you fall in love for 3 minutes when you dance tango”. And I remember giggling and feeling excited about this prospect. Who isn’t looking for love? At the time I was single, doing my Masters, feeling ready for Prince Charming to make an appearance, and I guess I was thinking tango might show me the way or at least introduce me to a few viable P.C.’s.

But for me there was a confusion between falling in love for those 3 minutes and wanting a lifetime romance. It took a few (million) tandas to realize that I can fall in love for that tanda and what happens on the dance floor stays on the dance floor. What happened to those amazing people off the dance floor? Or possibly what happened to me off the dance floor? It seemed like all the magic disappeared. Sometimes 2 people can be very attracted to each other and have a terrible dance or the other way around, not be attracted to each other and become very attracted after the dance! I soon began to understand that the context of the dance was important. The context of the dance, in the milonga space, creates this electrically charged environment. Those exciting tandas where I felt attended to, taken care of, playful, interesting, and interested often disappeared off the dance floor as I was reminded by a life coach friend of mine that the dance is a context for those emotions. And thus back to the idea that you do fall in love just for 3 minutes.

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”  ― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
And I definitely think I found and lost myself a few hundred times since those beginning days! And I still am finding myself within this art form.

I think most people have a love – hate relationship with the dance. Some still mistake their lust for their love. We get angry at the dance for giving us such great tandas and some bad ones too, for allowing ourselves to become too vulnerable or too this or too that. And yet, all this is part of being alive and human, isn’t it? To say that you have felt something?

Teaching a bunch of sexually blossoming and hormonally active 20 somethings (and sometimes not just 20 somethings) I find that the etiquette of the dance provide a structure and can serve as healthy boundaries for the couples in the dance. Where the arms go in a proper embrace? how to ask for a dance with a cabaceo?

And I think the roles help to guide the tango- is- like- love metaphor  in the sense that regardless of the gender the roles in tango are what we are drawn to. And the idea that there are identifiable roles is very appealing.

The Roles

To guide, direct, suggest, invite, protect, be confident, attentive, patient, playful, attune, musical, flirtatious, to dance.

To be invited, protected, taken care of, reassured, attended to, to be waited for, to feel beautiful, to flirt safely, to feel safe, to dance.

Our loves in tango, our love for tango, reminds us that we are alive and capable of the emotion.

On this St. Valentine’s Day may you all fall in love during your next tango dance.