There is a lot of discussion about the “invitation” in tango but not so much said about, what I’m calling, “the approach” in Argentine tango. What do I mean by “the approach”? I have included 2 videos with my dissection of the approach as I have become really interested in this lately.
After all, you might have reached that lovely dancer with a cabaceo (that traditional way to make an invitation) but it is what happens between that moment and being on the dance floor that sometimes gets things off to a rocky start.
In this 2 part video I demonstrate and discuss an idea or 2 for a pleasurable approach to maximize your success on the milonga social dance floor.
Remember, in at least one of my blogs, I talked about it being all about the hands, well, that conversation returns.
Not too long ago someone asked me if I liked being touched, like having my hand held, by the dancer who I’d be dancing with on the way to the dance floor. I told them that I hadn’t thought about it before and they said that they liked it. So I put some attention into that moment since then!
It’s about the hands!
I have to say, there’s something special about the information we gain from the hand connection. AND HERE IT IS AGAIN! As my wise Maestra Graciela Gonzalez pointed out, we have to increase our awareness of our hands and actually touch the other person.
In my workshop, All about Leading for Men, I have an exercise where we actually explore items with our hands. And then recently I dove into a comprehensive workshop on Dr. Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent(TM) and there too, we spent a lot of time on our hands.
The density of sensory neurons is very high in our fingertips (and lips – just FYI) . Think about all the things we do with our hands and how specialized they can be. Think about those who read Braille or those talented people who work on things on a very small scale (teeth, miniature figurines, etc.). Well, as Dr. Martin says, our hands have a direct route to our pleasure center in the brain..
Our hands are picking up so much information consciously and unconsciously the minute we make contact with our partner. Information that I believe is important for setting up your tanda.
In Buenos Aires in the traditional milongas, the lead would, if possible (given venue size) escort his partner safely to the dance floor. Absolutely making physical contact with her ahead of time. And if not possible when entering the dance floor then most definitely exiting the dance floor. Again, sometimes the distance makes this complicated. But I believe that gentlemanly behavior, that a chivalrous attitude would be attempted. The attitude is that of someone who wants to “take care of his partner”.
So Leads – consider the next time you cabaceo a potential partner and they accept. If possible meet them, offer your “open-to-receive-you” hand and hold that hand graciously as you safely enter the dance floor before your embrace.
Part 2 of the videos addresses that magic moment of getting into the embrace. In the video I suggest not rushing it. That the moment of magic happens because both parties are aware of each other and open to co-creating the dance.
Let me know how it goes. Do you like making contact before you embrace? or does it make any difference to you? Can you take your time to get into the embrace?